confession

I’ve started sleeping with the ex again. I know this isn’t a good idea, but godammit I need to get laid. I’ve still been thinking about the other girl though. I know we’ll never be together which fucking breaks my heart since we’re perfect for each other. Well she’s perfect for me anyway.

I get attached too easily. Although I didn’t expect her to want a relationship, I was still gutted when she said that. She’s a real rarity. She’s beautiful, funny, clever and she’s a bit of a geek too. Obviously not as much as me, but she still understands a little bit more than most. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that.

 The worst thing? I spent all night wondering what she’s be like in bed based on how she kisses. Can’t decide if she’d be amazing or terrible.

Guess I’ll never know now. 

I saw the ex on Saturday. It was painful. I wanted her more than words can describe. I just wanted to fall into her arms.

Gah.

I truly hate myself today. The ex is coming up for a whole week next week. That means that I have to hide in my shitty little home for a week until she’s gone.

I’ve been unable to get off my arse to try and get a job. I need someone to hold me. Nothing sexual, just someone to hold me.

Ex’s part 2

There was one girl who was my first love. We split up and she put on weight. Lots of weight. It’s sad really. She was a really pretty girl, now she’s a fat slut. If only she knew that she had such a reputation back home. It makes me sad, but how on earth can you tell someone that they’re a whore?

The Ex

Yesterday I met up with my ex. We had a nice chat and it seemed like we would be friends. Until she let slip that two weeks after we split up because “she didn’t want a relationship” she was with someone else.

Beyond her having a nice arse, being with her wasn’t very fun. We didn’t really get on that well, and she was godawful in bed but it still hurt. I even pretended to be happy when I met up with her. That was a difficult act to carry on with once she said that.

I fucking hate you. But you only got a 2.2 in your degree. I’m going to do better than that. Fucking idiot. You’re welcome to your ugly Irish boy. I’m better looking and more intelligent than him.

I’ll be fine.

I hope.